Return to Profitability?

Full Tilt $10,000 Rush Guarantee (1,500 chips)

I chugged along fine here for ten minutes, creeping up to 1,600 chips until my [kh ah] met a [qc qs] on a [jh jc jd] flop. I was down to 310 chips after that and only lasted another three hands. 392nd place out of 1,198.

Cake Poker No Limit Hold’em (1,500 chips)

This was a no-guarantee game with 42 players. I had a good hand about half an hour in when I got eights full of fives on the river with [qs 8s] to beat a flopped straight. I lost a lot of chips along with another player at the hour mark when each of us were holding jacks ([js 8s] for him, [jh 9d] for me) and the flop rolled out [3c jd 4s]. The spaded jack was first to act and went all-in for 1,605. The player between us called with another 760 behind and I re-raised to 3,210. A fourth player mucked but the second player to act called all-in, flipping over [4d 4d].

I was down to 1,655 and was lucky enough to get [qc qh] on the  next hand so I threw it in pre-flop. I was in the big blind (125/250/20), two players ahead of me had gone in for 750 and the raiser went all-in to push the caller out. The queens were heads-up against [9s 9h] but the flop went down [7d 4c js td 8d] and the nines straightened out. If only one of them had been on the board instead of the 4! Out in 11th place with no money.

Cake Poker Roma Turbo 6-Max

Just had a little bit of money left in my Cake Poker account and put it into a ring game. Not only did my last hand of [7d 7h] get double-counterfeited by the [qs 8s 9d 8c qc] board, but the other guy had [ac ah]. – 135BB/100 hands.

Full Tilt Step 1 Turbo (1,500 chips)

Another classic example of me blowing the best position to bust out—or win a lesser prize, in this case. My first hand was a dreamy [kh kc]. I went to the flop after a re-raise and call with one other player. I got [ks ad 3h] and made a doubled the pot with a bet of 555. He raised and I went all-in, getting a call. As I suspected, he had a very strong ace: [qd ah] but a pair was the best he could muster against my set and I was over 3,000 chips.

Only four hands later I was dealt [qs qd]. A pair of cracked aces had eliminated another player, so there were two of us with stacks around the 3K level. I made a min-raise (to 40), got a call, was re-raised to 120, four-bet to 280 and got a call from the other raiser and we were heads-up. Once again I got a set on the flop: [5d 8d qh]. I put out a tiny 60 chip bet into the pot of 620 to see if I could get a read and he raised to 800. He might have a flush draw or an over pair or another queen. Maybe a straight draw of some kind. I went all-in and got a call. He had a set with pocket [9h 9s]. No [9c] showed up so I was clear.

It was another set that cost me big. The table was down to five players. My stack was about 4,300, almost 1,500 ahead of anyone else. I was the big blind at 60/120 with a decent [js th]. The cutoff raised to 360 and I was the only caller. The flop looked very nice: [tc 2h ts]. I checked to see what he’d do and the bastard put out 780 to try to steal the thing from me! I put him all-in and he called. With [ac td]. A [6s 8s] on the turn and river gave me four to a flush but that was how I lost 2,600 of my chips. I never managed to get back in to the top two slots for a Step 2 ticket.

Live by the kings, die by the kings. My last hand in the match was [ks kd]. We were down to four players. Everyone playing was assured of at last a Step 1 ticket. I was the small blind at 100/200. UTG raised to 400. I put another 1,000 on top of that, leaving 780 behind, hoping to indicate some ambiguity and wanting to get more than the blinds and the raise. Big blind folded and I got a call. The flop was a worrisome [js 8s th] but I went all-in. I got a call (the player was the same one I’d lost my chips to earlier) and he showed [9c 8c]. I was ahead through the [6h] on the turn but the [qc] on the river did the deed. 4th place and a Step 1 ticket.

Full Tilt Zoom Rush 6-Max

I don’t think there’s anything of note in the 111 hands I played in this cash game session. I almost recovered from a couple of 15-20BB losses. -4.5BB/100 hands.

Full Tilt Step 1 18-Player (1,500 chips)

[jc jh] on the second hand here got me off to a good but unsustained start. I was over 2,000 almost immediately and the exact same hand ten minutes in put me past the 2,500 chip mark. I hovered around that point for about fifteen minutes, sank below 2,000 for twenty minutes, and very briefly managed to get up to 3,500 before slipping back down to starting stack territory (albeit at a somewhat higher blind level). 54 minutes, 78 hands, 11th place, no prize.

Full Tilt $10,000 Guarantee Early Antes (3,000 chips)

I’d been curious about the dynamics of these Early Ante tournaments. I didn’t find this one appreciably different from a standard tournament, the antes just aren’t large enough to make much of a difference when people are doing things like going all-in. At the early stages, the antes are slightly larger than the big blind but you’re talking less than 1% of the starting stack size with a 3K stack and blinds of 10/20/3. In the last level I played of this tournament (150/300/25) it’s no different than a regular tournament.

I took a big hit on the first hand of this game with a [kd 7d] in UTG position. I limped, UTG+1 limped, the cutoff raised to 100, both blinds called and we limpers went for the ride. The flop was [tc 5d 8s] and everyone checked. The turn was [9h], giving me an up or down straight draw. The small blind made a pot-sized bet of 524 and I was the only caller. The river was a useless [5s], we both checked, and he turned over a [9d 7h]. A king would have given me a better pair but my straight would have just been a draw.

I doubled up to 4,500 with [as ac] twenty-five minutes in when [kh ks] had some bad timing. Forty minutes of languishing at the same level followed, with the inevitable minor ups and downs. Then with [ad tc] in my hand in the big blind at 50/100/10, five players limped in to a flop of [ac ts js]. Possible Broadway straight, a flush draw, top pair with an extra pair for me. I checked after the small blind, the hijack position bet 690 with 2.300 more behind. The button called, the small blind folded, and I re-raised to 2,000 to give them something to think about. Hijack went all-in for 3,020 with everyone but me folding. 7,420 in the pot, he had [jh th], much to my relief and no jack appeared on the turn or river. I was over 9K and in the top 100 stacks.

A [qd ah] cost me 1,500 and smaller amounts of less than half that on decent, ill-timed hands, but the blinds and antes ground away at my stack until I was down to about 3,200 at the two-hour mark. There were about 320 players left out of more than 1,100 but only 108 payouts. I got [9d kd] in UTG+2 and called (150/300/25) after action folded to me. The button raised to 1,200 and the blinds folded. He’d been fairly active, so I raised him all-in (3,309) thinking he might be trying a steal. He called, though, apparently feeling good about his [8d ts] (he did have another 11.5K). I was ahead all the way. The next hand played out almost exactly the same way, except for the part where he had a crummy hand. I was out in 315th place of 1,139.

Full Tilt Midnight Madness! (1,500 chips)

Typically, I don’t enter these more than once (and I’d never play multiple entries simultaneously) but my first entry into this evening’s MM! ended so heinously I had to go in again. I took a big hit on hand six with [ad tc]. I was in the big blind, heads up for a pot of just 180 chips with [jd 2s 9d] on the flop. I bet 45, my opponent raised to 120, I called and the turn was [qs]. I put out 120 to test the waters—I had 1,200 behind—he raised to 420 (the “pot smoker raise”) and I called. [3h] on the turn. I had nothing and folded when he went all-in. He flashed [4h as] after collecting his 1,260 profit. OK. I still had 900.

Three hands later. [8d jd]. Heads-up again to the flop. [5d th 9d]. Up-and-down straight draw. Flush draw. Opponent checks to me, I raise 120 and get a call. [td] on the turn. Made flush, up-and-down straight flush draw. Opponent bets 180. He could have a higher flush, pocket nines or fives or ten-nine/five combos for a full house, four tens, or any number of drawing hands. I go all-in. He calls with [ks qd]. Then the [4d] shows on the river and his flush beats me.

Eight hands of humiliation wasn’t enough. I started another entry but ended up waiting nearly five minutes for the blinds to get to me to play. Cards are uncooperative and I’m down to 1,245 about thirty-five minutes into the game when I get [td th]. Blinds are at 80/160, UTG limps in and as UTG+1, I raise to 480. The small blind raises to 1,280 and the two stacks between us get out. I have to go all-in to call. He flips over [qh as] but the board doesn’t cooperate with him, giving me a full house of fives over tens: [7s 5h 5s ks 5c]. Two hands later the same player gets it all back with interest. I have [kc ks] in the big blind. Hijack goes all-in for 200. The guy I tangled with before is in the cutoff and calls, the small blind folds, and I raise to 1,000. There’s a call from the cutoff. The [kd 3h 2d] flop gives me a set and I raise all-in. Cutoff goes all-in for less, leaving me 755 in the hole. [6h] shows on the turn and [7h] on the river. Cutoff has [th qh] for a backdoor flush and takes a pot of 4,390.

A [ks 4s] doubles me up with a flopped set of 4s a little later but spades fail me on the next had and I lose everything trying to triple up on a three-way all-in with [as 8s] against [tc th] and [7h 7s]. The flop misses everyone and the tens win.

My first entry went out in 2,314th place. The second was 1,500th.

Full Tilt $4,500 KO Guarantee (2,000 chips)

This was my “good” outing for the day. I entered rather late: nearly forty minutes in with blinds already at 60/120. My third hand, I was on the button with [kh th]. There were two limpers ahead of me. I called and the small blind was in. The flop didn’t look good for me with [4s 2s ah] but everyone checked and I was the last to act, so I checked. The [8h] on the turn improved my hand a bit and when the action folded around to me again I bet 320. I got one caller from a large stack to my immediate right. The [6h] gave me the nut flush and when I bet 560 after a check the big stack folded.

I blew 300 entering a contest with [8d 6c] when one of the short stacks at the table was about to get knocked out. Missed the flop entirely and when the bets and raises started flying I folded. Eventually, two players fell to pocket [ad ac] held by the guy on my immediate left. I picked up about 1,200 with a 600 chip post-flop bet my next turn in the big blind holding [tc 5d] on a [7c kc 2c] board.

Clubs did well by me a little bit later, as well. I was in UTG+2 with [9c kc] with blinds at 250/500/50. I called, as did UTG+3. The giant stack in the big blind checked. The flop was [js 7c ks] and my 1,000 bet folded the other two players. The next hand I was dealt [qd ac]. I raised to 1,000 and the player to my left went all-in for 3,747 with only 2,200 in the pot. I had him covered by just over 1,000 and I called; he flipped [as kc]. The board gave him a king on the river but with [jd 5s 6h tc ks] that was actually the last card he wanted to see, because it made my Broadway straight. I took a bounty and nearly 5K in profit to put me over 9,750.

A [th 9s] combo just a couple of hands later in the big blind went up against a couple of limpers. I had nothing on the [6s 5c qs] flop and both I and the other players checked it through. The [ts] on the turn was interesting, although it could have been a real pain as I found out. I checked again but the first player after me bet 1,199 with 8,122 behind. There was a call from the button and I raised to 3,000. The original raiser folded but the button went all-in to call. [8c js], so I wasn’t looking for another spade. The [kh] on the river was wonderfully safe for my pair of tens and I got another bounty.

I pushed as high as 20K but had some setbacks and was down to about 12K by the end of my first hour in the game. [8h 8c] came to me on the button in the 800/1,600/200 level. There was an all-in raise of just under 10K, an all-in call for about 2,500, and a call from me with the blinds folding. The flop was a less-than-pleasing [ks 5c 9h] but an [8d] on the turn made it all good, even with [ad] on the river. I took the 26K pot and two more bounties. Shortly after that—in the 1,000/2,000/250 level—the Mutant Jack appeared in its [ad jd] avatar. I raised to 4,000 as UTG+1. UTG+2 re-raised all-in to 11,280, about half my stack. Everyone else folded and I called. We were interleaved, he turned over [kd qs]. I got a [ac] on the flop and nothing else mattered except the bounty and the 27K pot, which put my total up to 43.5K.

Those were the last of the good days though. I played forty more hands in the match and lost money on all but two of them to antes (from 250 to 600 per hand), blinds (3,000/6,000 by my last hand), or contests (just eight hands). My next-to-last hand I started with less than 10K (after losing 5,600 on the big blind with [7h 4d]) and [9s ad]. Not usually a hand I push with, but I was down to less than two big blinds. UTG, sitting on far from the largest stack at the table with 60K, raised to 15K. Action folded to my paltry stack of 9,300 (with 2,500 already in for the small blind) and I went all-in. It was a race against [6d 6h] but I caught my [ac] on the turn.

I was out on the next hand, though, calling an all-in from a 92K stack with a better ace kicker than my [9d].

Five bounties and a small cash for an ROI of 271%. 95th out of 1,774 entries.


Tomer Berda at EPT Copenhagen, Day 1B. Photo ©

Tomer Berda at EPT Copenhagen, Day 1B. Photo ©

Tomer’s made it into Day 2 of EPT Copenhagen after a rough start that dropped him from a bit over the starting stack of 30,000 chips to less than 10,000. He recovered, but he’ll be going into a new day down 700 from where he began, in 189th place out of 262 players left, with the average stack at 51,400 and blinds beginning at 500/1,000/100.

Update: As of the first count of Day 2, Tomer had chipped up to 74K.

Update 2: During other events I’ve tried to do a little bit of research about the table draws on Day 2 and beyond, but hadn’t been able to find tables. Just ran across the Day 2 draws for Copenhagen now, quite a bit late.

Table 26

  1. Martin Hansen (Denmark). About $50K in tournament winnings, all in the past couple of years. Fourth place in an EPT London side event; 102nd in the EPT London Main Event. 81,000 chips to start.
  2. Michael La Masse (USA). No records. 17,700 chips.
  3. Daniel Lundgren (Sweden). $21K for 4th place in the Malmo Open last August. 67,000 chips.
  4. Jon Spinks (UK). $35K in winnings. Two fifth place finishes for $15K each: a side event at EPT San Remo and UKIPT Brighton. 30,600 chips.
  5. Tomer Berda (Israel). 29,300 chips.
  6. Mike Erst (Ukraine). No records. 32,300 chips. Busted out in this report.
  7. Afshin Alikhani (Norway). No records. 58,900 chips.
  8. Daniel Pettersen (Norway). A 12th place finish for $6,600 in Prague in August. 102,400 chips.
  9. Giacomo Maisto (Italy). $31K in winnings since August in EPT Main Events at Vilamoura (53rd place) and Vienna (20th). 56,800 chips.
  10. Kristian Moller (Denmark). No records. 62,400 chips.

Update 3: According to the latest chip count, Tomer’s been busted. Then again, so is just-back-from-retirement WSOP Main Event winner and Copenhagen hometown fave Peter Eastgate.

Mutant Jacks Rule…For a While

Puffmammy Tournament 19 (1,500 chips)

This seemed to be going okay at first. My goal for the night was to bust out later than D, who took the POY lead away from me last event but was only a point ahead. He was seated two seats to my left at the second—six-handed—table at the beginning of the event. I was holding my own until the player between us wiped out the first of six (out of thirteen total) players she’d eliminate before she won first place. After that, the dynamics changed a lot, and I got over-extended on one particular straight draw that she bluffed me out of on the turn. I was close to dead after that and since it was after the end of re-buys I went out ignominiously in twelfth place. D made it to the money and extended his lead to twelve points. That means no skipping out to attend Stan Ridgway’s concert at Mississippi Studios on March 7th if I want to maintain a chance to win by the series’s end in May.

Full Tilt Step 1 18-Player (1,500 chips)

This tournament didn’t work as an attempt to clear the taste of my earlier loss at the live game from my mouth by getting back on the Steps. I won a hand with [js td], lost twice as much with [qc ad], then played [jh qs] on the tenth hand from UTG and got a [qc 3h 2d] flop. There was only 120 in the pot and the small blind bet out 120, I re-raised to 300, he three-bet to 480 and I called. A [td] hit on on the turn and he went all-in. I stupidcalled and he flipped over [qd 3d] for two pair and a flush draw. The [ac] nailed the coffin shut.

Encore Club (5,000 chips)

My initial outing here went well for the first hour. I got [as js] about thirty-five minutes into the game and pushed hard on a player on the other end of the table who I figured had flopped kings and tens. I just had a gutshot straight draw on the flop but another ace on the turn scared him off when I raised, putting me up about 3,000 from the starting stack, overall. He wasn’t happy when I showed my hand, and shortly thereafter he had to re-buy.

I took the same player out on the last hand before the break with another Mutant Jack: [ac jc].

The second hour didn’t go so well, however. I only got a couple of good hands; everyone folded on a raise with AKo, and then a big blind special of [ad kd] met an extremely ugly flop and I folded. I can’t even remember my last hand, but it came not too long before the end of the second hour, at the final table. Seventh place out of eighteen, three positions short of the money.

Mutiny of the Bounty

Full Tilt $2,500 Guarantee (1,500 chips)

Nothing to see here. There were almost 3,700 entrants at the time I busted out. I took an early hit with a [ad 6d] that didn’t pan out. An [8s 7s] paired the eight on the flop to put me back over the starting stack. I more than doubled up with [th tc], beating a pair of nines to make it to nearly 4,000 chips twenty minutes into the game. Twenty minutes later, a different suited ace combination ([as 8s]) flushed through on the turn to beat a pair of kings.

I was mostly quiet after that, staying between 4,000 and 5,000 chips until just after the first hour of play, when a far weaker [ad 3d] combo lost out to [as 9c] that got four clubs on the board. All-in against a larger stack with three clubs on the flop? What was I thinking? Out in 794th place.

Full Tilt Midnight Madness! (1,500 chips)

Very quiet for the first quarter-hour. I get a couple walks for 15 chips apiece but give it away. A couple of small opening raises go bye-bye when the flop fails to cooperate. Then I get [6h 6d] in the small blind (at 20/40) with action folded around to me and only seven seated at the table. I min-raise and get a call from the big blind. The board has three over cards—including a king and queen—to my pair and the big blind keeps firing off small bets but I take the 480 in the pot when he has a pair of twos. The next hand I eliminate a player and make a profit of 1,460 when the bottom end of my [ac qd] pairs on the flop. [qd as] on the very next hand only makes me 40. Then it’s quiet until about the 50-minute mark when I have [ad ks]. I min-raise to 200 from UTG+2 (with eight players), getting calls from both blinds. The flop is [ac 4s 9c], the blinds check and I open with 600. Small blind raises to 1,200, big folds, and I three-bet all-in. Big mistake. Small blind not only has me covered but he’s got [9d ah]. two more clubs show on the board, and if that king had been a club it would have been real nice, but I’m out in 1,703rd place out of 2,016. Pathetic showing.

Full Tilt Step 0 Super Turbo (300 chips)

When I said I would never play another Super Turbo so long as I lived, I should have specified that only idiots play Super Turbos. I am an idiot. Five hands. I’m in my first big blind (there’s 10% of my starting stack right there). I’ve got a wretched [jc 4h] but lo and behold the flop is [qc 2c 3c]. I know that if I can double up or just grab some chips in this early stage I’ll be a lot better off when the blinds go up on the next hand. I bet the pot to open (90), get re-raised by UTG+1 (the only other player in except for the small blind) and the small blind folds. I shove and UTG+1—who’s already taken out one of the players at the table so he has the bog stack— calls, showing [kc 9c]. Finished 82 of 99.

Full Tilt $2,500 KO Guarantee (2,000 chips)

I’ve taken a run at this low buy-in event a few times in the past without any luck. Bustouts in just four and six hands, half an hour at the best. Last night things clicked—at least for a while.

I was below the starting stack for most of the first ten minutes then managed to avoid having a pair of sevens suck out with a flush on my pair of queens and picked up 900 chips.

My first big win was pushing all-in with [ad 3d]. Action had folded around to the button, who raised to 480 at the 80/160 level. Small blind folded. I had the button covered by 900 chips (out of 3,200) and my all-in was called. Up against [kh qc] and an [ah] came on the flop. Things were a little worrisome with a turned [js] but the river was safe and I got my first bounty. I picked up another 960 on the next hand with [qc 9c] that made it to a king-high straight on the turn.

I made a move about 25 minutes later holding [qc ad] on the button at 80/160/25. Two players ahead of me were in for 480 and I called, with the big blind following along. The flop was [4s ah jh]. The big blind checked, the next player (UTG+3) bet 755 and the hijack called. I went all-in for 3,875. All thee following players had me covered by 500 to 9,000 chips but everyone folded and I picked up 3,270 to put me over 7,500.

An hour-and-a-half into the game and I’d lost several hands, dropping down to 4,500 with blinds at 200/400/50. My hand on the button was a somewhat less-than-sterling [kc th]. UTG+1 limped, UTG+2 raised to 800, hijack called, I called, as did the blinds, and UTG+1 matched the raise, so the pot held 5,250 prior to the flop. The flop was [9h 5s 7h]. Nobody had put in 800 with 68, apparently, because everyone checked to the turn, which was [8d]. UTG+2 bet 1,200 with the hijack calling and I took a stab at it with my four-card straight, raising all-in for 3,655. Everyone folded and I built up to 11,300.

I got knocked down to 5,300 with another KT combo. It was suited ([kh th]) but slightly behind the [jd ks] at the end of a board that didn’t connect with either of us.

The same player gave most of the chips back on the next hand. Five players went to the flop, limping in at the 300/600/75 level. My hand was [kc 5c] and the flop was [as 4d 2s]. UTG+2 bet 1,200, UTG+2 raised to 2,400, and once again on the button I re-raised all-in to 4,620. The blinds and UTG+2 folded, UTG+3 called, showing [9d ac], and the turn dropped a [3h], completing the straight and putting me over 14,000.

The humdinger hand of the night was my second bounty. I had about 13,700 chips in UTG+1 and was dealt [qh as]. We were still at 300/600/75; I raised to 1,200. UTG+3 went all-in for 11,460. Everyone folded to me and I called with him flipping over [tc td]. Things were just about over with a [qc 5d qh] flop but [6c qs] on the river sealed the deal for a 13,000 profit.

I was the big stack at the table for the moment but lost my next five entries into the pot, losing between 1,000 and 4,000 each try until I was down to 8,400. Blinds were nipping at everyone’s heels, at 600/1,200/150. [kc kh] fell into my hand in UTG+1. I raised to 3,000. The huge stack with 90K re-raised to 12,600. The button three-bet all-in to 28,297. Action folded to me and I called all-in for 8,259. The big stack called the three-bet. Big stack had [ks ah], the other all-in (the same player I’d traded chips with above) had [jd jh]. The board ran out [tc qh 6c 7c 3d] and I took just about 28K of the 68K pot. Two hands later I lost everything to the big stack, going out with a small cash in 207th place out of 3,401 entries after 150 minutes.

Full Tilt Super Satellite to FTOPS Event #44 (1,500 chips)

Sunday was the last day of the FTOPS tournaments, and early in the morning fresh off the KO tournament above I took a shot at a super satellite to the next-to-last event, a 6-max bounty tournament. The field grew to 61 entries by the end of registration, with five entries to the satellite, worth $55 each and two smaller cash awards.

Twenty minutes in I got my first break with [kc kd] in the cutoff. UTG picked up a ten on the flop to match their [tc 8s] for top pair and went all-in and I picked up the KO and 830 chips. I wiped out another small stack of 720 shortly after with [qd ac] vs. [ad td]. [as ac] against [ts td] shortly thereafter made another bounty and put me over 4,000 chips. I took out two players (one with only 25 chips in the big blind) holding [8c 8h] when the board showed [qs kd qd 8d qc].

Forty minutes in, I’d been knocked down to only about 2,500 chips again, losing 600-900 chips on hands like A6s and A9o. Kings served me well again when I doubled up through the big stack at the table to 7,700. Another bounty  and 1,495 came my way with [td ts] a few hands after that. I got a couple thousand more holding [kc 6c] when the board gave me a 9-high straight on the river and nobody contested my 1,000-chip bet into a pot of 3,270.

A key mistake came when the field was down to about ten players. The cutoff raised from 200/400/50 all-in to 4,105 and I was the only caller, holding [qc kd] and 6,200 chips behind. The all-in showed [kh ac] and he got aces full of kings by the end of the hand.

Still, I was in the top five, on track to get a ticket to the satellite until I called another all-in by the same player five minutes later. My [6s 6d] against his [qs qh]. Out in 7th place with an award about 1.5 times the buy-in and seven bounties, bringing the ROI to 169%.

Playas In the Mist

Aces Players Club Turbo (5,000 chips)

My memory is so very fickle. People all around me recount stories of hands they’ve played earlier in the day or a year ago and I can barely remember which two cards are under my protector. Every round of betting I have to check what I’ve got: “What ranks? What suits?” Sometimes people razz me with: “What? Did you forget what you have?” Truth be told, that’s not unlikely. Even if I know I have AA or AK, I might not remember what suites they are. Maybe I’m easier to read because I look at my cards so many times. Then again, if I don’t remember what they are, that might not be a very accurate read.

Either way, it makes putting together detailed accounts of my live tournament games rather difficult for me, particularly if I wait a day or two and if I play two or three similar events in close succession. No hand history file to fall back on, no record in Poker Tracker.

Anyway, this game was a night game. I know that sometime before the first table break, a player on the second table vomited (I was on table three) mostly into a garbage pail. The initial scuttlebutt was that he’d taken a particularly bad beat, later I heard that he’d either had a couple of drinks before playing or gotten some bad food. All I know is that there was a general consensus among the players who were headed to table two when tables were consolidated shortly afterward that they did not want to be sitting in or near that seat. One of the players at our table actually missed a big blind hand because he had stepped away from the stink.

I made it through the first break but not as long as the second.

Aces Players Club (5,000 chips)

Another second-hour bust-out. This one was notable because one of the players on the far end of the table was someone I’d seen in previous tournaments and who was acknowledged by others around me as pretty good. I’d sat next to him before and been my usual pleasant self, but his demeanor to me had always been kind of bluff. Not that I thought he was friendlier to anyone else.

I’d heard from someone else previously that he was good enough to have drawn the attention of someone who’d staked him to play in Vegas, so I asked him if he had been playing down there recently and just got shut down with what seemed like an annoyed response. A simple “no” would have sufficed.

We were involved in a couple of big hands. I pulled a suited ace of clubs and four-bet him on the flop when two more clubs showed up. He was sitting on a slightly larger stack than mine and really pushed hard on the non-club turn, and I folded, then he showed a king-high garbage and and made a comment about not letting flush draws shove him around.

A bit later, I got AA in late position. The big blind was something like 200 and there were five or six limping to the flop, including myself. The flop had another A on it, as well as a 7. Action came around to me and I bet something like 600, then Mr. Stoneface doubled that to 1,200. Everyone else ditched and I called. I don’t remember what the turn or river cards were but the bets escalated until I went all-in and he called, showing pocket sevens. People were flabbergasted that I’d slow-walked the aces through the pre-flop betting. Stoneface pronounced that he knew I had a good hand, he could see it in my eyes when I looked at him, and I said out loud that he was a good enough player to know that I was always playing with good hands, but I left unsaid the fact that he obviously didn’t know how good a hand I had. He was nearly felted at that point and had to re-buy shortly thereafter. But he was still in the tournament when I was busted in 13th place.

Just Can’t Get Enough

Aces Players Club (5,000 chips)

I played quiet and slow during the first hour. I’d picked up a couple of big pots, then lost a bunch when I chased down the top pair on the flush from the big blind. Unfortunately, the flush was 345, and a couple of major over cards showed up on the turn and river. I’d called about 1,600 in raises but when the guy to my left raised 1,000 on the river I let him take it down even though there was several thousand on the table and a call would only have cost me another 20% or so of my stack. He flipped over A6 for ace-high just to rub it in for everyone who’d contributed.

The last hand before the first break, one of the guys across from me was itching to rebuy and I picked up a respectable [tc jc]. Blinds were at 200/400 and there were several callers but the itchy guy raised to 1,200. A couple dropped out, seeing where this was going, but I matched the raise. The flop was a dreamy [8c 9c qs]. He bet another 1,200 and I called. The turn was the [qc], giving me the first straight flush I can ever remember getting in live play. I was pretty sure I’d won the hand by that point, so when he went all-in it was an easy call. He was pretty flabbergasted with his [qh 9s]. After he’d rebought and returned to the table after the break we were talking about the hand and one of the other players had to point out to him that I’d had him beat from the flop; he hadn’t realized I’d made a straight to beat his two pair which turned into a full house.

Sadly, my last hand was well before the final table. I picked up [ac kc], a couple of actors in the hand before me limped in for 600, then the player to my right went all in. The count was 6,900, leaving me with 100 behind. I called and we were heads-up. He turned over [ks kd]. There was an ace in the window on the flop. There was an [as] on the turn. I was crushing this dude’s kings! Then the river was a spade. A fourth spade on the board, to be exact, and that gave him a flush, which beat my set of aces. The 100 went in on the next hand for a pair of nines but a pocket pair of jacks scooped that up.

Chopped to the Felt

Full Tilt Step 3 Turbo

This was a match made in hell, or maybe it was limbo.

One of the players was taken out in the first few hands, doubling up the guy two seats behind me, but I got [qc qd] on hand 9, pushing off another player with a 500 chip bet after the [6c 4h 6s] flop and picking up a profit of 375 to put me in second.

Six hands later I get [qs qc]. UTG min-raises to 120 and I make the same move I did with queens pre-flop before with a re-raise to 300. Everyone gets out of the way and UTG goes all-in. He’s got me covered but I call and he flips over [qd qh]. The flop’s a rainbow, there’s no chance of a flush, and we make a big 45 chips each from the blinds.

I have to fold a couple of suited ace hands, including a Mutant Jack [ac jc] when the flops don’t look good, and fifteen minutes in I’m down to seventh place with only 1,170 chips.

The blinds go through me, and have increased to 60/120 by the twenty-minute mark. I’m down to 8.5BB, there are still eight players, and I decide to play a marginal [ad 6d], after throwing away A6o the previous hand and eight hands earlier. I raise to 300 from UTG+1 and get a call from the big blind. The flop couldn’t be much better: [kh 6c 6h]. The big blind checks and I go all-in, getting a call. He’s got [6s as], so we chop the small blind’s money and get 30 each.

The blinds are closing in on the next hand. I have [9c ad] and raise to 300. The cutoff (the smallest stack) and big blind call. The flop is [kh ts tc] and I try to bluff it with another all-in and the small stack calls. He’s got [kc qd]. My nine pairs with [9h] on the turn but the [jc] river card gives him a straight and me nothing but 60 chips which disappear in the big blind on the next hand.

I won three showdowns in of 35 hands, had queens twice and three of a kind on the flop, but two of my three wins were essentially negated by draws. No ticket for this game. back to the bottom.

The Landing On Step 3

Full Tilt Step 2 (1,500 chips)

Playing with the ticket I won earlier, I don’t manage to get ahead in the first fifty hands. A 3BB raise with [jc as] early on just gets me the blinds; I pick up 150 with a [5h 7d] in the big blind when a couple of players limp in and the flop of [8c 6c 9d] gives me a straight; [ac ad] in the small blind gets me 240. But when I push a smaller stack’s all-in with an all-in of my own holding [ah qd], he turns over [th tc] and neither of my over cards connect. I manage to double up and get back as high as 1,150 before my [9h ad] all-in is called and out-kicked by [td ac] and I’m back at the foot of the steps.

Full Tilt $2,500 KO Guarantee (2,000 chips)

I like this little bounty tournament althoughI’m at a loss as to why. I’d have to check to see if I’ve picked up any bounties, and I know I haven’s cashed in it. It’s cheap and it’s there if I’m not playing Midnight Madness (or if I’ve busted out). I came into this edition late, with blinds already at 50/100, lost 333 on my first contested hand, and the rest of it only fourteen hands in when my [kc td] got clobbered by [qh qs] that would have had me beat even if my straight draw had come through.

Full Tilt Step 1 (1,500 chips)

I caught a very lucky [ks kc] just four hands in. UTG limped in for 30 and I raised from UTG+1 to 120. UTG+2 called, then everyone but UTG folded. The flop was [2h 9d td] and UTG opened with 405. I shoved all-in, +2 folded like a good boy and UTG called for slightly less than I had. My kings beat his tens—although he was one card from a straight by the river—and I eliminated a player.

I stayed up over 3,000 as chip leader with some small induced folds, then had [8s 7s] on the button with five players left and blinds at 50/100. I’d slipped to second place, the big stack was in the small blind. UTG called, I called, and the small blind called for four players to the flop, which was [ts 9s qc]. After checks from the blinds, UTG made a pot-sized bet and I doubled it. Straight flush here I come! The blinds dropped out and UTG went all-in for an amount that would leave me with only about 1,400. Naturally, I called. I got a straight with a [6h] on the turn. The [ac] still didn’t give me a flush but I was up to 5,300+. My own [kc tc] knocked another player out a little later when I flushed to beat not only his [6d 6s] which tripped up in the flop but a straight on the board: [7c 3c 6h 5h 4c].

I tried letting the two remaining players battle it out but they were taking so long the blinds ate away 1,500 of my 9,000 chips and I figured I’d better make my presence known when I could. I had about 6,600 in the small blind at 80/160, the big blind had 4,200 and the button had 2,700. I was dealt [kd ah], the button made a min raise, I re-raised to 640, big blind folded, button called. The flop was a rather ugly [6c kc qc] but I raised all-in and got a call. I had the better made hand but with [qd ac] it was far from over. Fortunately, diamonds are my best friend and the rest of the cards were [6d 4d]. No flush, no more queens. Just a Step 2 ticket for me and guy in the big blind.

Full Tilt Step 2 (1,500 chips)

An early [jd jh] pops me up to 2,000 but I nearly get felted 34 hands in when I get over-confident and call an all-in with [as jh]. The all-in turns out to be [ah kh] and I drop to 530 chips. It doesn’t help that the other ticket winner from the previous game is in this one and is either an ardent admirer or has a novel method of making me a target by appearing to be a sycophant, praising every win and warning people getting into hands with me that they’re going to be sorry. I manage to double up twice in the next eight hands, with a [kd 5d] that pairs the top card on the flop and then [8d 8h] in my pocket, each of which sets off a barrage of admiration and my own attempts to deflect.

I lose another big pot to the same player as before with an out-kicked king (he’s got [ks ah] this time) and have to build my way back up from the sub-1K region again. We’re down to five players, I have 1,160 in the big blind at 100/200 and I’m dealt [ac qc]. The guy who’s been beating me is first to act with a call. My fanboy’s on the button with 1,925 and raises to 900. The small blind folds and I shove all-in. UTG raises all-in—he’s the largest stack by far with 5,875—and the button preserves his remaining 1,025 with a fold. When the cards flip UTG has [tc ts] but he’s in a bit worse shape when the flop shows [qs 8d 9s]. Another [qc] on the turn closes just means he has fewer chances for a straight, but the [8c] on the river makes my full house instead. I move from fifth place to second, with 3,320 chips. Another [8s 8h] gets me 600 more chips.

Then I spend twenty-five hands waiting for a good opportunity as my stack shrinks from 3,800 to 1,700. I have to make a move at 120/240 and get very lucky with an all-in from the small blind holding [2d ah]. By the turn I have a six-high straight and the [as 9s] of my nemesis is busted. (My fan is gone by this time, thankfully). After my double-up, nemesis and I are relatively even at around 3K while the chip leader is at 7K.

I’m able to push a little better with a larger stack and—frankly—a better run of cards. I creep slowly up through the 4,000s and into the 5K range while meanwhile my nemesis doubles through the chip leader. Now we’re even at about 5,250 while the former chip leader is just above 2,500.

I manage to bump up to more than 7K with [8d 7c] in the big blind at 200/400 with a rivered nine-high straight. The two other players are now at about 3K. The non-nemesis opponent goes all-in from the button when I have [as qc] and I go all-in. He’s got just [2s ac], the [qh] shows on the turn, and the match is over after seventy minutes including sixteen just three-handed (there are two winners, so there was no heads-up play).

Full Tilt Step 3 (1,500 chips)

This game looked rather grim. I’d made it to Step 3 before only to crash and burn. Sixty hands and thirty-five minutes in, with blinds at 50/100 and only five players left and I was under the starting stack. Then a [ks jc] in the big blind met up with a [qs ah th] flop and I pushed everyone away from 1,850 chips with an all-in for my straight. On the small blind the next hand my [js qd] double-paired on the river of a [ah ks jd 9c qc] board. A little scary but the all-in forced another fold for a profit of 1,350.

Three hands later I had the same combo in slightly different suits: [js qh]. I was the first to act and limped in for 120; I was heads-up against the big blind. The flop was a pretty safe [6h qs 2c]. Big blind bet 180 and I called. The [9d] didn’t look scary to me and I matched the bet of 400. I figured a KT could have me beat on when [jh] showed on the river, but I matched the 1,570 all-in bet and when he showed [9c 6d] it was mine.

I maintained top position three-handed at about 7K, hoping my two opponents with 3,500 each would weaken each other, to no avail for ten minutes. Then I matched a 480 raise from the small blind while I was in the big blind holding [td 8d]. The [3h 8h 3s] flop gave me two pair but I should have been more leery of the 480 post-flop bet. I raised all-in and was called by [ad 3c]. An [ac] on the turn just made it worse and I was reduced to 3,700. A couple of hands later my all-in call with [jd qs] failed to improve and was beat by [6h 6d], putting me out with another chance at Step 3.

Full Tilt Step 3 Turbo 18-Player (1,500 chips)

I re-raised a 3BB raise with [ad ah] ten minutes into this two-table match, inducing a three-bet all-in that I called. I was up against [qh qc] and another ace showed on the flop, putting me in an early lead. I kept the lead as the table shrank through elimination and balancing to six players, then ran my [tc ah] into [jd as] and lost 1,200 chips. A freak river [7h] paired my [ad 7d] to wipe out a [jc as] and put me over 5K. Then another four-flush struck when I stupidly contested the big stack’s big blind and I dropped from third place and a sure Step 4 ticket to sixth and Step 3 again.

Be My Poker Valentine

Full Tilt Crestline Gate

I’m up, I’m down, I’m up, I’m down, I get [jd jh] and get busted by a backdoor flush.

Full Tilt Flash

285 hands per hour. Is that too many? I play for 16 minutes, I hit 17.5BB/100 but I’ve been underwater most of the time.

Full Tilt Mach 10

I never manage to get above even over 12 minutes and a double-ended flush draw on the flop goes nowhere to knock me out.

Full Tilt Midnight Madness! (1,500 chips)

My first hand and I can’t resist going all-in with [kd td] on a flop of 6d 4c 5d]. Of course no more diamonds show and the best I have is a match to my ten on the river against pocket queens. I buy in with another entry and try to play it a bit close to the vest but when people are beating your [ks 9s] with [6s td], it’s time to hang it up. OK, maybe I deserved to lose pushing with my [9s 9h] on a [js 6d 6h] board, but not to [jd 7c].

Full Tilt $2,500 KO Guarantee (2,000 chips)

Had a couple of successes but I was determined not to suffer the fate of my brash Madness! attempts. Unfortunately, after flopping a king-high straight in my first half-hour the cards dried up and I was blinded off from 4,000 down to about 2,500 over most of the course of my 100 minutes of play. A large stack with [ah jh] put paid to my [as 5s] and another player’s [ac kc] in one swoop.

Full Tilt $10,000 Rush Guarantee (1,500 chips)

I got into this half an hour in, at the 30/60 level but half the field had been eliminated already. That made the top stacks a bit difficult to catch but potentially my standing was closer to the money. I think that was probably an illusion though. Got knocked out with [8h th] in my hand and [ah 5h kh] on the flop. Guy to my left had [9h qh] for the nut flush.

Full Tilt Step 1 18-Player

First out. Straight got me.

Full Tilt Step 1

Slow and steady wins the Step 2 ticket. I need to figure out what I’m doing here that I’m not doing elsewhere.

Queue Seven

So I realized where had gone wrong in their evaluation of the so-called “computer hand” of Q7o.

As the legend has it and my own evaluator showed, Q7o is the hand just above the 50% mark in heads-up matches. Q7o has a very slight statistical edge (winning 50.56%) against random hands when the board runs out to the river. The entry for “Computer Hand” at, however, claims that the Poker Stove application “Q-7 shows 51.77% equity versus a random hand.”

The problem arises from a misunderstanding by the folks at of what Poker Stove calculates. As the Poker Stove FAQ itself states (emphasis added):

What does PokerStove calculate?

The values generated are all-in equity values. This is not the chance that a hand will win the pot. Rather it is the fraction of the pot that a hand will win on average over many repeated trials, including split pots.

So what we’ve got here is a sort of apples and oranges comparison. The “computer hand” specification is precisely about how often a hand will win. Poker Stove is making an entirely different evaluation.

Don’t believe everything you read on the internet.